This post is dedicated to a friend of mine (you know who you are): I hope someday you are able to forever silence the voice in your head that tells you you’re not good enough…
“Mirror, mirror on the wall, have I got it?
‘Cause mirror you’ve always told me who I am.
I’m finding it’s not easy to be perfect.
So sorry…you won’t define me,
Sorry you don’t own me.
Who are you to tell me
That I’m less than what I should be?
Who are you?”
As women, we all have insecurities. We all have had those days where we look at the reflection staring back at us and begin to pick apart the image we see. We think, “I would be so much happier with myself if only this wasn’t here. If I could lose 2 more inches or have this part be perkier or smaller or _______ (fill in the blank).” Even worse, we play the comparison game with other women. Maybe it’s a friend or an acquaintance or a complete stranger. But it’s a game that you eventually lose – because there will ALWAYS be someone taller, thinner, prettier…with a bigger closet & nicer shoes.
It truly breaks my heart when I see other ladies struggling in this endless cycle…because I have been in that place and I know the misery it brings. Having overcome a decade-long battle with an eating disorder, I speak from experience when I say there is no greater feeling than that of freedom. The moment when you finally accept that person in the mirror just as she is – and you continue to CHOOSE to accept her day after day. If my self-worth was based on how I looked (as it used to be), I would easily be discouraged by a bad-hair day or sudden breakout…or a girl wearing the same dress as me, but 2 sizes smaller. And as much as I love beauty & fashion, it is NOT what defines me, nor does it bring me lasting joy.
If I could impart one piece of advice, it would be this: We are all different. You cannot change your genetics…the shape of your face, the color of your eyes or the size of your feet. What you have is uniquely you. Find the beauty in yourself and do not let your looks define you. They are but one piece of who you are and much less important or impactful than your heart & soul.
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Bravo for writing a post like this one. It also took me, oh, at least 15 years to just "stop caring and comparing," and it feels much better now…there are so many other things to do with my time!
You are an AMAZING woman. SO beautiful and so sweet and smart – not to mention stylish! I appreciate your honesty and openness about your eating disorder. It's not easy to put the hard things out there for all to see, but if things like this help other women, then so be it!
With age I've come to accept myself as I am – flab, shortness, thin hair and all. One thing that I've learned is working with what I've got. Not that I'm trying to hide anything, but I understand myself physically and emotionally more than I ever did when I was younger. I can choose to either fight it work with it, and I've chosen the latter. It's empowering to accept yourself, even if there are those who don't.
Love you girl!
Beautiful and inspiring post! It is so true that us women do this to ourselves and it is not healthy. We all need to love who we are!
I love this!! thanks so much for sharing your heart and for being real about the important meaning of "beauty". I know it's so hard in this society to not focus on "what we have, what we look like, I want what she has"…even as bloggers, there is always that pressure of "wanting" and buying to stay up on trends. I struggle with that, and usually have to be sure to stay in check with the real meaning of why I blog. Inspiring women, not just with a cute outfit, but sharing my heart and hopefully helping women find their inner beauty.
This was so special and I appreciate your words and your heart! Have a great weekend. XO
Bravo! Nicely said 🙂
I was really connecting with what you were saying… until you specified that you were referring to physical image. Though that is a beautiful message, especially if you have a friend in need that needs to hear it. However, many women, particularly in the current recession are facing huge letdowns and disappointments in the professional world that is causing major financial stress, inability to provide for themselves/family and feelings of general failure. I wish my biggest problem was to drop a dress size… not how I was going to pay my rent.
Anonymous, I completely agree that this is a difficult time financially & vocationally for many people. I know first-hand those struggles because my husband has been laid off 3 times & had to stand in the unemployment line while we racked up charges on our credit cards to pay for groceries. That was one of the reasons why I began shopping in a frugal manner, even after he gained employment – because I saw the value in being wise with the money we were given…and because we never knew how long a "job" would last.
I'm so sorry to hear that you are having this difficulty and I hope that whether or not you find work soon, you are able to see that your worth is not tied to your ability to get a job.
what an important message. i'm so happy you shared this — as challenging as it might be — because too few blogs and news outlets for women in general, focus on these more serious issues. we need to love ourselves, to cut ourselves some slack, and live a little. i too have had struggles but i'm working every day to remind myself that i'm freaking hot. 🙂
alyson
http://www.theaveragegirlsguide.com
(ps: starting a column called Vent Sesh this week; hoping you'll check it out and maybe guest blog!).
Great post, you are a beautiful inspiration to your readers.