Do you ever have those “a-ha moments” where something you should have known all along suddenly strikes you to your core? Ever since I became a mom, I’ve had more and more of these realizations – parenting makes you painfully aware of your shortcomings as you begin to see your own personality traits (including flaws) in your children.
We received our kids’ report cards over the weekend and my teenage daughter, who has always been on the High Honor Roll, didn’t get straight A’s for the first time. I was dreading telling her the news because I knew she would be discouraged…but I wanted to make sure I framed it in a way that she knew we weren’t disappointed in her. I told her that we have never expected for her to get straight A’s and that all we want is for her to try her best. So, if her best means she doesn’t get an A in math, that’s okay (I certainly never did!). I finished our talk by telling her how proud I was of her commitment to her academics, especially with all the extra-curricular activities she’s involved in.
After giving her a hug & leaving her room, it hit me like a ton of bricks – what I wanted for her was to know the freedom that comes with letting go of those perfectionistic ideals…and to give herself permission to let her best be good enough. And I realized these are the very things that I am constantly denying myself – whether it’s creating content for the blog, maintaining friendships, staying on top of housework or serving my husband. I perpetually feel like I’m never doing enough and I beat myself up for it…which is neither healthy nor productive.
But, the truth is, there are only so many hours in a day. Maybe I didn’t get the laundry folded, but I took an hour to play a game with my son after school. Maybe I didn’t make it to the gym, but I finished writing my thank-you notes. Maybe I didn’t post to Instagram over the weekend, but I spent time connecting with my family in Oregon.
Having that talk with my daughter made me realize that it’s all about perspective. If I focus on all the things I’m not getting done, I will feel like a failure. But, if I instead look at the areas where I’m making a difference, I will remain positive & encouraged. I have no idea why that is so easy to forget, but I want to start living like I know it in my bones. No one else expects us to be perfect, so why on earth do we demand that of ourselves? Let’s choose to give ourselves grace as easily as we give it to others & let’s remember that our best is ALWAYS good enough.
What I’m wearing:
Zara Sweater (similar here or here), Forever 21 Pants,
ASOS Loafers (similar here or here), Zara Bag (similar here or here),
Forever 21 Earrings, BaubleBar Ring (similar), Lips: L’Oreal Spiced Cider