Penny Pincher Fashion

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Perspective Change

bucket bag

Do you ever have those “a-ha moments” where something you should have known all along suddenly strikes you to your core?  Ever since I became a mom, I’ve had more and more of these realizations – parenting makes you painfully aware of your shortcomings as you begin to see your own personality traits (including flaws) in your children.

We received our kids’ report cards over the weekend and my teenage daughter, who has always been on the High Honor Roll, didn’t get straight A’s for the first time.  I was dreading telling her the news because I knew she would be discouraged…but I wanted to make sure I framed it in a way that she knew we weren’t disappointed in her.  I told her that we have never expected for her to get straight A’s and that all we want is for her to try her best.  So, if her best means she doesn’t get an A in math, that’s okay (I certainly never did!).  I finished our talk by telling her how proud I was of her commitment to her academics, especially with all the extra-curricular activities she’s involved in.

After giving her a hug & leaving her room, it hit me like a ton of bricks – what I wanted for her was to know the freedom that comes with letting go of those perfectionistic ideals…and to give herself permission to let her best be good enough.  And I realized these are the very things that I am constantly denying myself – whether it’s creating content for the blog, maintaining friendships, staying on top of housework or serving my husband.  I perpetually feel like I’m never doing enough and I beat myself up for it…which is neither healthy nor productive.

But, the truth is, there are only so many hours in a day.  Maybe I didn’t get the laundry folded, but I took an hour to play a game with my son after school.  Maybe I didn’t make it to the gym, but I finished writing my thank-you notes.  Maybe I didn’t post to Instagram over the weekend, but I spent time connecting with my family in Oregon.

Having that talk with my daughter made me realize that it’s all about perspective.  If I focus on all the things I’m not getting done, I will feel like a failure.  But, if I instead look at the areas where I’m making a difference, I will remain positive & encouraged.  I have no idea why that is so easy to forget, but I want to start living like I know it in my bones.  No one else expects us to be perfect, so why on earth do we demand that of ourselves?  Let’s choose to give ourselves grace as easily as we give it to others & let’s remember that our best is ALWAYS good enough.

fall style

camel trousers

buttoned pants

heeled loafers

mustard trousers

Forever 21 Buttoned Pants

What I’m wearing:
Zara Sweater (similar here or here), Forever 21 Pants,
ASOS Loafers (similar here or here), Zara Bag (similar here or here),
Forever 21 Earrings, BaubleBar Ring (similar), Lips: L’Oreal Spiced Cider

SHOP SPRING PANTS

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Comments

  3. Oh yes, such good advice for us all. The older I get the more I realize that “good enough” is just fine by me, not perfection but progress is all I need. Since I started my own blog I have felt pressure to do more, be more and I’ll be honest some of it just isn’t me. So I had to realize that I’m doing what I like and having fun and that’s all that matters. I may not make lots of money doing it but that’s ok because I need to have balance in my life. I work full time and have a family so I can’t be a slave to social media and I think what I am doing is “good enough” for right now.
    As always you look chic and amazing!!!
    xo,
    Kellyann
    http://www.thisblondesshoppingbag.com

  4. I heartily agree! I think women, in particular, have a hard time with this as we tend to put others’ needs before our own and feel guilty if anything is left undone. I have to stop myself and adjust my thinking now and then too! P.S. I’m SO glad you are feeling better!

  5. What a great sharing message. We as women tend to do as you stated in your post – always putting others first and being critical of ourselves for not getting things done. Such great advise – thanks for sharing

  8. Well said Kim! I loved this post and couldn’t agree more that is all about perspective! I am currently working on changing mind because I tend to notice only what I didn’t do versus what I did accomplished.

    http://www.rdsobsessions.com

  10. Always a good reminder. I have found it easier to extend more grace to myself as I’ve gotten older, and it’s allowed me to make room for more joy. 🙂

  11. Wait, the report cards go to the parents first nowadays?? My daughter is starting school this fall. I had no idea this is how things are done now???? That is crazy! In other news, I love this outfit and have been looking for shoes like that for work, so THANKS!

    • Haha well that’s the way their school has it set up – there’s also an online portal so we can log in anytime and see their grades on tests & reports!

  12. This post really hit home with me. I think we all have a pesky little bug that runs in our thoughts telling us that we have to be better and brighter. It’s always great to remember we need a reality check.

    xo Logan
    https://peculiarporter.com

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